My job? Toilets 'n boilers, boilers 'n toilets, plus that one boilin' toilet. Fire me if'n you dare.
this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2025
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“Why aren’t you fixing the boiler?”
“Scheduling conflict.” *flips through magazine*
Scruffy's gonna die the way he lived. licks finger and turns the page of Zero-g Juggs magazine
It's wrong, wash bucket. Oh, it would be sweet for a while, but in the back of our minds we'd know that I'm a man and you're janitorial equipment.
In another city, we could be anyone we want.
Prison’s not so bad. You can make Sangria in the toilet. Of course, it’s shank or be shanked.
Terlet
Of course it is.
Scruffy’s gonna get himself another one of those three hundred dollar haircuts… This one’s lost it’s pizzazz.
Jail's not so bad. You can make sangria in the terlet. Course, it's shank or be shanked.
Second
Second
Second
Scruffy hears ya. Scruffy don't care.
Didn't Groundskeeper Willie say this too?
He did, and now I'm having trouble finding a clip of Scruffy saying it. I'm wondering if I conflated the two.
You did. Sorry.
Scruffy, do you have any varmint grease?
What viscosity do you need?
"Mhmm"
Life and death are a seamless continuum. Mmhmm.
marmalade
Scruffy's on break slowly comps one potato chip
A greater tragedy my eyes have never beheld. Welp, into the terlet.
Done broke my spine.
Nice rack, tho...
"Who the hell are you?"
"I'm Scruffy... The janitor."
The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Mmhm
sinister silence as he backs out of the room
Context: “I hid it in a secret hiding place whose location I never told anyone. Not even Scruffy!”
Bite my shiny metal ass.
(yes, he did say it)