America too fat to Nazi properly lol.
this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2025
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Tried to goosestep but all they managed was a waddle
Foie gras-stepping.
Let’s all join ice and not work
It's certainly tempting.
If I wasn't already employed, in sure there's a way to get hired as an ICE agent for a full blown do-nothing position.
Hell, game the system right and you can be hired three or four times. I doubt their HR is worth a shit.
Good idea in theory, but you'd be facing a shitload of pressure from your fascist thug "colleagues" to commit all sorts of heinous acts and it's not unlikely that they'd go to great and violent lengths to force you to comply just like they do with their other victims.
Might be worth it to get their names
Just be careful not to be seen writing them down. Literacy skills are a dead giveaways
Join ICE, spray tan your coworkers and work harder.
Where does one go to apply for an "ICE" job?
Just follow the instructions on the Spotify ads
I dont use Spotify...
Probably wherever people who pretend to be cops and military hang out, civil court hearings? Militia weekend groups?
Bass Pro Shops? KFC?
...requiring 15 push-ups, 32 sit-ups, and running one-and-a-half miles in 14 minutes...
That's a stupidly easy test. I'm a programmer, gamer, and I have a bad back, and I can easily do that.
Dude 1.5 miles in 14 minutes is not as easy as it sounds, especially if you aren't active
A mile and a half and 14 minutes is a tiny bit faster than a brisk walk. If someone has trouble handling that pace for 14 minutes then they really should not be anywhere near a law enforcement job that requires them to be on their feet.
Just to confirm...
Is it all that's listed in 14 minutes. So, the push-ups, sit-ups and the running?
Not just running almost a kilometre in 14 minutes?
Its 1.5 miles not almost 1km.
So 2.4km.
Ah fuck, I got the conversion the wrong way round
Oh, that's a good question. I read it as the latter, but if it's the former, it would be a bit tougher. It's still not super hard, but it is tougher than I initially imagined.
Physical fitness tests?
Mental fitness tests?
Intelligence fitness tests?
Psychological fitness tests?
Moral fitness tests?
Or all of the above?
Yes.
Trump will start poaching municipal and state police to emigrate to become ICE officers via over-paid salary and benefits.
The one thing, though, is that police unions are damn strong and you’ll be drawing a nice pension while you beat your geriatric spouse through retirement. The ICE ramp-up was slapped together without any thought past a dumb cash grab. I doubt benefits, if there are any, will be honored.
the benefit is that you will get investigated for crimes after this admin is over
I don't know ... ICE has a budget bigger than the Russian military. ICE's budget is bigger than all other US local, state, and federal law enforcement combined. So I expect Trump to spend that on turning cops to ICE.
They already are. And there's a cop shortage. And if they go back to being cops and then do police brutality the fact that they were in ICE before will immediately make it that much worse for them
Scary part is the physical fit ones are that much more psycho. Maybe add mental fitness criteria.
Mentally fit people wouldn't want to work for them.
xactly