this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 184 points 2 months ago (4 children)
>do something creative, funny, and harmless
>people react negatively

Absolutely no one sane would think anon is anything less than a monster cock chad for this. Anon’s fictional place of work is full of lamers.

[–] SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world 39 points 2 months ago (5 children)

"Lamers"?!? What are you, like 90 years old?

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I guess cringeheads would be more hip and funky with the young cool cats

[–] SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I will not be taking questions on how I recognise the extreme agedness of your terminology.

[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Don't be a jive turkey fool, lad. Just be groovy about it and don't mellow the poor fellow's swing.

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Verily. Forsooth.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

and you learn to accept it

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 months ago

you know, it's so pathetic

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Taxi Driver, And Justice For All, Undergrads, Fritz The Cat, and this one dude who I saw who talked and looked like the pimp in Taxi Driver but was fatter and had sorta Tripp Pants. Seattle's wild dude

EDIT: We also gotta bring hip back. In certain old movies, it sounds like fresh, genuine slang. Not like nowadays where it sounds like someone who is out of touch. Must be tone and context.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 months ago

the pimp in Taxi Driver

That's Harvey Keitel!

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Lol that's like AOL-era slang. I used to boot the lamers offline with punterz.

I'm so fucking old.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 months ago

Gotta get that ubermicro

[–] SiegeRhino@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

lamer spotted

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That just looks like those creepy supplement grandpas now tho

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 12 points 2 months ago

But it’s fake and gay

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 7 points 2 months ago

average autism experience TBH

[–] 474D@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or his coworkers are just normal people who want to get their shit done to go home and don't care about this at all

[–] CaptnNMorgan@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

This comment is so funny to me, because it never would have occurred to me, but it's probably the most likely

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 69 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fake: anon has a job

Gay: anon performs for another man

[–] franklinovitch@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wether the boss is a man or a woman is not written in the greentext.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 months ago

True, but the lack of sexist slurs makes me think the boss is a man. This is 4chan, afterall.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 19 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Can we add a new rule to this community where the posts have to be even remotely realistic. Anon clearly has never had a job because if somebody wants to fire you they don't have to come up with the made up reason they can just do it.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

Depends actually, many places have At Will employment where you are correct, but not everywhere. In many places it's illegal to fire someone without cause.

[–] GhostedIC@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Nah, I see people get fired for made up reasons all the time and companies who are really gunshy about firing awful employees who cause a lot of problems, and management will even say they want to fire them for months while looking for a reason.

They REALLY don't want to get sued, even frivolously. Even though it probably won't happen in the first place, companies want the reason someone was fired to be so obvious that a potential lawsuit would be dismissed without going to trial.

Unless theyre firing a load of people at once, then they can just say they needed to downsize in order to stay in business.

Somehow we ended up with a system where workers both have no real protections but business are also, often, scared to fire crazies because one unemployed person dedicating all their time to causing problems can be very expensive.

[–] Shayeta@feddit.org 5 points 2 months ago

Worker rights, innit?

[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

This is just not reality in most places, the US sucks but it is still difficult to fire someone without a valid reason, otherwise risking lawsuit and possible firing of yourself.

You either have only worked one industry in your life or you're out of touch