I feel this. I was wrangling 2 data engineers bickering like you wouldn’t believe in a meeting earlier today. With other people present. One of whom is a VP and was one of these cat’s boss. It was like two 10 year olds who each are certain they know best, but neither of them fully understands the other. It’s just unreal. I had to almost shout over them to get them to shut up and listen to me, which is far from my preferred meeting demeanor, but there was no other way.
this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2025
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It’s more a reflection on them than you but don’t put up with it. People will treat you like a doormat, doesn’t mean you need to be rude back but firmly tell them that you are not a punching bag and that you won’t be listening to them anymore. Probably best to avoid speaking with them unless it’s purely work related and any bad reaction can be reported to management. If it’s not dealt with do what you can to get out of there.
I can relate to that. I have bad days too, though I don't "take it out" on people. The most that might happen is a tonal change. I notice I don't even change vocabulary (e.g. a bitter "what" over a polite "yes"). And it makes me wonder because I live in a very neurodivergent society and overly expressive responses are a stereotype of that, but it's always the neurotypicals I know who allow things like that to wander out of their context.
Also i guess i can't say I'm the "only one" since 90% of people don't do this but you only remember the ones that do I guess.
It is often said accepting bullish behavior in silence emboldens it.
Don't.
I think one of the most informative features of one's personality is how they handle setbacks. Nobody's perfect but I think an adult should be able to control the expression of their emotions. Something like getting angry at a game and screaming at it let alone throwing the controller is a huge red flag for me. I can't think of a situation where letting anger take control of you has ever produced a better outcome compared to staying calm unless you're literally in a fight.
I don't know if it's my experience with meditation or what but I see anger as such a powerful emotion that it pretty much cannot sneak up on me. The first moment something anger inducing happens to me it's like an alarm that goes off inside my head telling me to play close attention to how I'm going to react. Something like annoyance on the other hand is much more sneaky and has significantly higher chance of poisoning my mind before I detect it.
Anger can have its place in our lives IMO; it helps you discern things that aren't OK.
For instance, if your boss tells you to do some shitty work, you might get angry since you might not want to do it. Now it shouldn't be full Hulk mode anger, but a bit of anger may help you set your sights on what you really want for yourself.
Again, not full-blown anger, just a lil bit of it, when well managed, can help you out.
I wasn't talking about feeling angry but rather how one expresses that feeling. Swearing, raising one's voice, hitting and throwing stuff are things people do on top of being angry. It's the behavior I critizise, not the emotion.