this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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Programmer Humor

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transcriptA meme saying: "STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE"

  • Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed
  • C is a LETTER, not a language
  • Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN
  • "I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE

Look at what PROGRAMMERs have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS)

  • FUNNY COLORED LETTERS (with a picture of syntax-highlighted code)
  • 178 COMPILATION ERRORS????? (with a picture of compilation errors
  • A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE (with a picture of a 3d rendered teapot.

IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGH IN DOING while(true{print(money);}

end transcript.

top 15 comments
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[–] nullPointer@programming.dev 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I just tell people that I am a "professional button pusher"

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Knowing which buttons to push is the valuable part though.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 1 points 3 weeks ago

That's what diffs a professional button pusher from an amateur button pusher.
When you know which buttons in which order get you money, you become a professional.

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 1 points 3 weeks ago

I dont know where I heard this story but it was something like the following:

In a company a very valuable machine breaks and becomes inoperable, so they call the support. They send a mechanic to fix the machine. The mechanic arrives inspects the machine, opens it, presses a button and it works as if nothing happened. The manager then asks why he is paying the mechanic just to press a button. The mechanic answers "you aren't paying me for pressing the button, but for knowing which button to press".

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

while 1 print money

Central banks obfuscate this code a bit, but its all about having the right printer hooked up.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Well, they use a for loop that whatever group of bureaucrats has to enter a limit into, but basically yes.

[–] Mothproof2212@feddit.org 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Why are you trying to write python? Just get one from the pet shop!

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Rust is even easier, you probably have some you aren't even using. Check in the bikeshed.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ah yes, let's forget that that image is created on a computer

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago

No, I made it pixel by pixel on a piece of paper, and then scanned it to spread the word.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Science? There's science behind the clusterfuck we call software nowadays?

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think it's only getting worse. I always assumed the next generation will be more tech savvy than the last one. I had to learn windows/mac/dos when i grew up, just to play some video games. There was a lot of troubleshooting and hardware problems i had to figure out. When i was 25, people would tell me that their 5 year old can use their ipd better than they can. (Ipads just came out.) I thought these kids are gonna be computer wizards when they grow up. It was the absolute opposite. I talked to these kids when they were around 16 again, and they were absolutely clueless. If it wasn't an ipad or an app they could use, they might as well play with a piece of glass. Can you do ..... On an ipad? Hmm, what app is that? It's not an app is something you do, like a setting. Hmmm... I'll check the app store.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yep, 1990-2010 was kind of the golden age for learning computers on the fly. They were too rare and inaccessible before, and they're too polished and sandboxed now.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ok but that is actually a nonsensical statement. In no case will using threads and recursion reduce cpu usage

[–] limer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe if the threads pause a lot, and pause even more as the stack unwinds to the final exciting conclusion.