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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
A mashup using elements from this old dancing PSA:
Also, when on the highway, remember: A safe following distance is 69 bible-lengths per 72,411 bible-lengths-per-hour of speed.
Bonus layer to this: It's the Christian rock of joke comments. I just took regular old advice, crossed out words, and replaced them with bible.
Boring math stuff
What bible are you referencing here? New Gideon? King James? Dead Sea Scrolls? and do these bibles include any apocryphal texts? .... also are you talking about the Jewish Talmud? the Koran? ... is this Coptic? Roman Catholic? Episcopalian? Baptist? Morman? .... or is it just another one of those picture bibles for children?
I'd rather be driving by at a steady clip at 67 King James bibles an hour then at a hedonistic 54 New Gideon bibles an hour
I literally googled "bible sizes" and landed here: https://churchbiblepublishers.com/bible-sizes/
Picked "hand sized" and use that lol
It's also important to let others know you're turning with a turn signal approx. 420 bibles away from an intersection.
how are you measuring your bibles? length or girth?
Weight.
That's ridiculous. Nobody knows how long a gallon is.
According to the old testament ... that is 400 cubits in length ... it's enough length to pack in every animal species on the planet (except for unicorns and dragons)
I don't even know how many MP3s you can store with 400 qubits.
“Render therefore unto your CD the things which are PCM, and unto your MP3 player the things that are MP3.”
No, that's a galleon. A gallon is a frame or elevated beam, typically wooden, from which objects can be suspended or "weighed".
But seriously people, you're supposed to leave enough space to be able to come to a full stop if the person in front of you were to suddenly come to a full stop.
Can you bring a 60mph car to a stop in 10 bible lengths? No? Then backup further.
I'm talking about boneheads waiting at an intersection with enough room for a bus in front of them. Then, when the light does change with me 6 or so cars back, I can't even get through. Doesn't help that most people have terrible reaction timing.
That kind of boneheadedness is annoying, but it's at least just annoying and wastes a bit of time. Tailgating and driving impatiently actually gets people killed every single day.
Fine. But if they're in front, someone needs to tell them the holy spirit is too weightless to trigger the pressure plate, so ithe light won't go green until they move up to the intersection.
Your point remains, but often those are magnetic loops, not weight.
Everyone else, start noticing cuts in the roads near traffic lights. Stop in the weird shapes in the middle of your lane.
Nice try NSA
Is that pocket book sized bibles? or big giant hard cover special edition bibles?
and also .... I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THAT LOUD CHRISTIAN ROCK!!!!!
Turns up volume to 11
Listen!..... can you hear it? .... listen! ... really listen ... is that the Holy Spirit?
Nah .... it's just tinnitus
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
How am I supposed to fuck my guy from a bible distsnce?
With the bible, duh.
well he said he loves jesus...
Everything but metric.
