At least her name is on point with Tomb Raider.
this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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Congruent, at last.
Lara Croft, Tomb Coddler
cough
not the only thing that's on point
quickly eyes the angular monoboob, then looks away
Well. She's the Tomb RAIDER, not the Tomb Preserver.
I love when I'm surrounded by treasures in an ancient temple no human has laid eyes on in thousands of years, so I take a look at a scroll then immediately leave.
It's a good thing those torches are still burning after thousands of years, otherwise you would have needed a flashlight!
That's the way it should be!
Put mercenaries on the list. They get hired to guard some excavation. A chill job the recruiter told them.
Lara overhears them talk about going home to their families as she sneaks up and brutally murders them with her ice axe one by one until the ruins are flooded with blood. It's all self defense.
Damn you're right! Is like that recurring joke in the Austin Powers Movies.
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Well I mean she's British and rich, what do you expect?
In case ya'll don't know about Heinrich Schliemann...
Now you do.
He fucking dynamited what quite likely is the actual location of ancient Troy....in the early days, the field of archaelogy had a number of basically wealthy idiot assholes who fancied themselves as 'great men', who went around doing nonsense like this, and of course just actually stealing the artefacts and taking them back to museums in their home countries.
Schliemann obliterated the potential Troy site so thoroughly that archaeologists spent over 100 years looking at other potential sites... only to largely (not entirely, but largely) come to the conclusion that Schiemann's Troy site probably is the actual correct site....
... But he fucking blew it up.
A historical example of an idiot with too much money and unwarranted self confidence.
Yup, this douche looks like the Musk of his day
Except unlike Musk, he did actually earn his own money, not just inherit from his daddy before purchasing companies to try and take credit for their innovation.
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Are there any games that accurately depict the activities of any kind of scientist?
I'm not sure there's a market for a "Pipette Cry Repeat" based video game.
Kerbal Space Program
That's engineering, not science. There is no science gameplay, you just have science points that you spend.
The implementation of engineering is science. In this case it involves physics, materials, structural, and a bunch of others science disciplines.
It isn't research discovering new things, sure. Not that kind of science.
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I dont think scientist simulator would be a very popular game. Its be mostly trying cope with the mental anguish of rejection over papers and grants being published.
There's a mini game in Spider-Man where you have to match up absorption lines to identify chemicals. That's relatively realistic.
Surgeon Simulator! It’s a the best training program for today’s surgeon in a rush
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The game is literally called "Tomb Raider". What did you think raiding meant?
In the latest game she triggers a massive flood that destroys an entire village, possibly killing hundreds of people, IN THE TUTORIAL STAGE!
To be fair, the odds of removing a dagger from a pedestal doing that are extremely low, even in the survivor trilogy.
Oh boy, crimes against humanity must be added to the list.
Indiana Jones actually claims to be an archeologist, he would be a better target.
I forgive Indie because he punches Nazis in their stupid face.
Doesn't he also objectify women?
Like... Yeah?
But again... Punching Nazis.
Same with Indiana Jones. Maybe he's slightly less terrible about it than Lara Croft, but the fact that he cares only about that golden idol and not about the entire temple complex around it with apparently still active traps, makes him a terrible archaeologist.
They're both very effective adventurers and tomb robbers, though. And at least Lara Croft doesn't pretend to be any better than that.
Also: "It belongs to a museum"
Which museum, indie? I guess you are talking about the museum of the country where the artifact is from, right? RIGHT?!
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I know it is a game, but every time an ancient ruin got crushed while playing, I felt a lot of regret...
I kind of wish there was a chill game about discovering an old civilization (a.k.a. 20 years of work in 20 hours of gameplay).
Myst?
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To be fair, even some of the other characters in the games/movies recognize this and call her out for it.
I wonder what it would look like to try and resolve some of these problems in a way that still provides a satisfying platformer experience.
Like, what if instead of these ruins being a bunch of traps with some key magical artifact that she heavily disturbs while passing through, what if the game was a platformer where you had to essentially erect scaffolding and lay down tarps in advance of a larger team? And the goal is to basically use climbing and athleticism to navigate the environment without disturbing an incredibly fragile environment?
That sounds like a dope game idea.
Thanks, I think so too.
I'm trying to expand on it a bit, because I think what's still missing is a sense of stakes and grandeur.
What if the backdrop is that Croft (or similar protagonist) is working with a team that is uncovering new and valuable discoveries that reveal the art and culture of ancient people that were largely absent from history. It's showing that some earlier group had settled an ancient valley prior to the arrival of a group that is culturally significant to a current regime. And as they're making these discoveries, it's becoming increasingly contentious politically among some faschy nationalist government (a la Orban, Erdogan, etc.)
Over time, they begin to face mounting pressure to secure the sites quickly before a rival team is sent in specifically with the goal of damaging them and stealing artifacts so that these finds aren't able to be studied. And the protagonist, as the first person who the team relies on to safely document and preserve the site, is soon persued by a goon squad, allowing us some urban platforming levels as you work towards a final confrontation.
tomb RAIDER
Schlieman moment
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