this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2025
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feelings are important, though? if i can avoid hurting someone and all it costs me is saying blocklist instead of blacklist, that seems like an obvious slam dunk
Your feelings are yours to manage. You say why hurt someone when you can avoid it. I say why get hurt in the first place? Everyone has feelings about everything. No feeling is any more valid than any other feeling.
so you think other people should take responsibility for something they can't control, but you should have no responsibility for something you can control?
you can't stop yourself from feeling sad, but you can stop yourself from doing something that makes someone else sad
having no concern for the feelings of others is just really irrational and selfish imo
Emotions aren't inherently positive or negative. It's what you do with the emotions that has actual moral substance.
Here, let's look at it this way.
I say something, and it made you sad. However, you know full well my intent was not to make you sad. Despite this, you use your sadness to guilt me about the thing. So now I feel sad that you are purposefully misinterpreting my meaning.
I am offended that you are offended. Explain to my why my feeling is invalid and yours is valid.
Anyone can feel bad about anything.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm not saying go around purposely making people sad. I'm saying don't make your sadness my issue.
you're adding way too much into this. who said that someone would guilt you? normally when you make someone sad they don't say anything about it, they just feel a bit worse and continue with their lives
i'm just explaining to you, there's no way to rationalize your way out of this. you are in complete control over what you say, unless you have verbal tics. and people will understand if you accidentally say something offensive from a tic. do you not understand this? it's just about responsibility.
take some responsibility for what you say. that's all.
Yeah, clearly you've never seen a Karen.
not everyone you offend is like that. 90%+ of people you'll hurt with your words will say nothing to you about it, they"ll just feel like you're less trustworthy, less respectable, less professional and less considerate. if you want to take all of those disadvantage because... wait, why is it you don't want to be considerate of the feelings of others, again? you... don't want to learn new things? okay then.
You mean not learn new things like purposefully missing my point? Yeah, big loss. Where are you getting this 90% stat from? Your feelings?
i'm disabled and i volunteer with disabled people, and we talk about these kind of things quite often - people will talk about how a thoughtless comment on the internet started a spiral of despair. there's one guy in that group of 30ish who tries to tell people how their words affected him. everyone else, they keep it to themselves, for various reasons - sometimes they're scared that if they share how they were affected by a comment, the person who wrote it will intentionally try to hurt them more. some people are scared of being seen as a "karen", some just don't want to bother people.
we all understand that, most of the time, people aren't trying to upset us. they're just being a bit thoughtless. i totally understand that it seems like an arbitrary imposition, but it's really not that hard to just be a bit more considerate of others.
if you think a word you like to say is more important than being considerate of others, then you keep doing whatever you want. but stop lying to yourself, your actions can hurt people, and blaming people for being hurt by your actions is karen behavior.
Yeah I'm not saying any of that. I'm saying these people would be better served learning to not care what others say than trying to make the world speak in a way that doesn't upset them.
If you don't think you can learn to manage your emotions instead of letting your emotions manage you, then you are just a perpetual victim. And the universe doesn't particularly care.
You know what the vocal minority is? Mean people aren't going away, and there will always be one asshole to make you feel bad. Much more effective to not care what the asshole says.
The real question is, why be offended when no offense was intended? What even is the point of talking, of communication, if not to convey one mind to another? And if intent can be surmised and subsequently dismissed, isn't that a rejection of the premise of communicating in the first place?