this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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The experiences trans men and women have with misogyny will never not be fascinating to me. Like, for the first time ever we have this huge sample size of people who have experienced how their gender presentation affects how people interact with them, giving tangible proof of misogyny in action. And it can't just be swept aside with 'MaYbE tHe wOmEn JuSt miSuNDerStOoD' or 'mAYbe tHe mAN diDN't MeAn iT LiKE tHaT'. I mean idiots will still make idiot arguments but at least it chips away at them a little bit.
I told one of my friends that I'm being looked at differently in crowds now, and he just said "no you're imagining it".
Many people just do not believe what trans people tell them. At all.
In that specific case it might've been an answer to "Do you look at me differently now", brains like to short-circuit like that, and not everybody is comfortable speaking for the tribe. "Does the tribe like me?" -- "Well I do" -- "Does the tribe?" -- "I'm not the tribe".
Honestly people are probably just looking at you wondering if you are trans.
Women aren't believed, are you a trans woman? If so it could be either that you're a woman or that you're trans.
(I hope not to misgender either but) bro, she knows. No need to mansplain it, read it again:
I was adding to it, not explaining it.
But is it because of being trans in general, or because of the direction of transition?
Hello it's me a trans woman. I knew before transition about some of it but never really understood. When I was masc I didn't realize how much of it was basically hidden in plain sight because of how I learned to socialize. After transitioning though omg it's everywhere. I'm in Seattle right now where I don't have to try too hard to pass and still get treated at least base line okay. Even then I still use my masc voice more than my femme voice because people take me more seriously when I do. Like there's a cultural acceptance of trans people here but if I behave more masc I get the privilege of being "one of the boys" even if I'm visually in full femme mode. It's all so weird
I'm female presenting. I've known people who thought I was a cis woman for months, and I don't keep being nonbinary or trans a secret.
When I read actual cis women's accounts of misogyny, and also trans women's accounts, I can't relate. I don't get shut down the same way. Somehow, despite others perceiving me as female, I kept the tiny part of gender presentation that tells people to sit down and shut up when I'm talking as if I were a man. I don't understand what it is, but I still have it the same as before I transitioned.
I would love to know what it is so I can share it, but I can't tell why people respect me as much as they would respect a man. It's bewildering.
Confidence goes a long way, but maybe that is simplifying the experience too much.
You could be lucky too or maybe you don't notice the microaggressions.