this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] lorski@sopuli.xyz 20 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Destroy their oxygen intakes. Job done.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 18 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

Fart into it. Make them suffer.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe a more potent gas could do the trick.

[–] Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 7 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ViaGetty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 15 hours ago

What I would give for a movie prop tube of green pearl VX to leave around my workshop...

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 1 points 7 hours ago

If the Hitman games taught me anything, is that a single bottle of poison (the type that you can comfortably fit in your pocket) is sufficient to kill an entire building of people if you get it into the ventilation system.