The Onion

(Washington DC) Friday the trump administration announced that vacancies created Wednesday on the White House Ethics Board would be filled by donors who support the effort to build new East Wing Ballroom. The first 3 people to pledge ten million dollars each will receive the positions. Gift donations are allowed.

The vacancies were opened after trump fired three board members earlier this week, citing disapproval of some of their findings regarding members of his administration. The ousted members are appealing the decision in court.

Members of Washington’s elite say the price of the seats is very reasonable, given the board’s responsibility to review questionable actions of the administration. One republican congressman noted that some bidders may look to re-sell the ethics seat to colleagues currently being reviewed by the board.

The first seat has already been assigned; Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud made the donation in the name of his grandchildren, saying he would allow them to rotate the position every six months. Trump congratulated the new appointees by phone.

Americans are disappointed the seats are being sold to foreign leaders. Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in Richmond, Virginia, said: “I just wish maybe it could have been a lottery, so I’d have a shot at it. I really like ethics foods, and this would have been a great chance to try some.”