this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025
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in David Attenborough's voice "Incapable of movement, the salad's only defense against it's only natural predator, upper middle-class suburban mothers in their 30's, is its innate sense of humor..."
in that-one-dude-who-narrates-every-single-national-geographic-documentary voice "but in the forest, things are dangerous. the fairly common salad (salad dalas) is unaware that a particularly hungry vegan upper middle-class suburban mother (rehtom nabrubus, ssalc-elddim reppu nagev), this particular one in her 30's, is stalking in the shadows. The salad's only form of defense? A knack for witty, funny jokes that prevent the middle-aged vegan from eating it.