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this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2025
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The year is 1997. A young boy is about to watch a porn video for the first time on a grainy VHS tape. An older version of himself from the far off year of 2025 appears.
Me: "You know, in the future, you'll make your own porn videos."
90s me: "Wow, you mean I'll get to have lots of hot sex!?!?"
Me: "Ha! No. So Nvidia will release this system called CUDA..."
I thought this was going to go Watchmen for a moment. Like...
It is 1997, I am a young boy, I am jerking off to a grainy porno playing over stolen cinemax.
It is 2007, i am in my dorm, i am jerking off to a forum thread full of hi-res porno.
It is 2027, i am jerking off to an ai porno stream that mutates to my desires in real time. I am about to nut so hard that it shatters my perception of time.
Where were you in 2017?
I figured rule of threes meant it was funnier to leave it out. 2017 would have been sad gooning to pornhub during the first trump nightmare.
Then 2027 could be sad gooning to ai hyperporn during the second trump nightmare.
Maybe I should have used 20 year jumps, but "2037, I am jerking off because there's no food, and the internet is nothing but ai porn.' didn't seem as funny a point for the "time shattering" bit.