Greentext

7394 readers

189 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

306

Anon's solution for first date nerves (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 day ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

24 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 51 points 1 day ago (2 children)

My keyboard is the biggest, loudest, most beautiful - and not just loud, everyone says it has excellent tactility - have you seen the lights? Better than the aurora borealis. The aurora borealis saw my keyboard and said so themselves. I built it myself. It was easy. You go to a website that sells the parts. Great websites, some of the happiest places on the internet.

Nah, still hate it

[–] Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

So you look at yakko talking. What a joke. Does anyone actually think he knows what he’s talking about? Tactility? Really? Weak language. My keyboard is has ten times more lights than his, and when I press a button it knows I mean it. Tactility isn’t a factor. It’s rough, gruff, able to take the pressure of a real man’s hands.

Oh, and did you notice how he said loudest? I did. All these vocal minorities, with their purple hair and face tattoos. They don’t care about America, they don’t care about our traditions or our values. All they want is a handout.

I feel really dirty….

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Let's never do this again ^^

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

Listen. This is the biggest. The BIGGEST keyboard. They said it could not be bigger. They said, Mr LH0ezVT, this keyboard cannot be bigger. The FAKE news and the lunatic left said it cannot be bigger. THEY LIED! Look at this keyboard. It is the BIGGEST keyboard in America. Maybe even the BIGGEST in the world. People from all over the world come to me. They say this is the BIGGEST keyboard.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Actually, there's another way to mimic him that also accomplishes this goal (works great when a date is going badly, too).

When you decide you're done with someone, just loudly and obviously shit in your pants.

[–] Franconian_Nomad@feddit.org 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Same, but because it’s still too much Trump.

My keyboard is great, I love it. it’s loud, but also a joy to type on. I built it my self, which makes me live it even more - it’s not so difficult. Look at the lights! Here try typing on it, isn‘t the tactility great?

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 3 points 1 day ago

Yeah you're right... The magic trick is liking yourself. I'll get there, but knowing the trick does make it less magical.