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I can certainly understand that and have heard that before for sure. I think the thing that's worrying me is like, how do I avoid using terms that are pejoratives like "aggressive" without realising that they're loaded in that way when used about women? I'm sure there are more issues at play for me, such as not knowing enough about how misogyny looks and not facing my own misogyny, but one issue I can identify is that I certainly don't think men who are "aggressive" are "strong leaders". I guess that's part of why I initially and incorrectly rejected that as a misogynistic term.
One of the clients I work for at the moment is a big company, and the CEO is exactly what I'd call an "aggressive" man, and he's a fucking dick. It sucks working for him. I've been told in performance reviews to be nicer about him. I just don't find pig-headedness, stubbornness, aggressiveness, etc. to be helpful traits in a team setting!
I do want to get better at recognising, understanding and changing these misogynistic terms or thought patterns in myself, though!