The Onion

(Washington DC) As democrats break ranks to end the government shutdown with no concessions, leaders for the party made clear that their actions so far will guide future actions as well. “This fight was one of many we’ll face when it comes to the needs of the American people,” said Chuck Shumer to reporters, “and we can promise Americans that this is the best they’re going to get.”

The 40-day shutdown is the longest in US history, and for over a month, essential workers have been required to work for no pay, as food subsidies ran out for low income Americans last week. Some in the party say the democrats have no direction going forward, but Schumer denies this. “Sure, we lost this fight, and the president may refuse to pay some people who worked in the shut down, and it may take months to restore food subsidies. But don’t forget what we got for our efforts.”

Republicans likewise note that they won’t stop fighting until Americans have no rights, either.