The Onion

6847 readers

639 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

294

Democrats Promise to Keep Fighting Until No Rights Are Left for Americans (ttrpg.network)

submitted 2 days ago by bradorsomething@ttrpg.network to c/theonion@midwest.social

31 comments fedilink hide all child comments

(Washington DC) As democrats break ranks to end the government shutdown with no concessions, leaders for the party made clear that their actions so far will guide future actions as well. “This fight was one of many we’ll face when it comes to the needs of the American people,” said Chuck Shumer to reporters, “and we can promise Americans that this is the best they’re going to get.”

The 40-day shutdown is the longest in US history, and for over a month, essential workers have been required to work for no pay, as food subsidies ran out for low income Americans last week. Some in the party say the democrats have no direction going forward, but Schumer denies this. “Sure, we lost this fight, and the president may refuse to pay some people who worked in the shut down, and it may take months to restore food subsidies. But don’t forget what we got for our efforts.”

Republicans likewise note that they won’t stop fighting until Americans have no rights, either.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] YoiksAndAway@piefed.zip 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Those aren't really concessions, Z. That's the equivalent of me taking your your dog, your house, and your car, then giving giving the first two back with the promise that we'll talk about your car later.