this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2025
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This is not commentary specific to her, and I’m not defending her at all with this response, but I do want to note this:
A lot of people hide who they really are to lock in their partners with children, debt, etc. Things like abuse don’t start out on day 1. And we need to be careful with this sort of rhetoric.
Agree with this partially because I had a sibling marry a person who hid a problem they had/may still have. However I think the warning signs were there, they just chose to ignore them ( and that is a whole other story).
Ya sometimes, especially when we are younger and maybe lonely and just want to be loved we certainly ignore red flags, or worse, think we can fix it.
As friends and family, we can only once and very gently voice concerns. Put the seed of doubt in there, and then wait (sometimes years) from them to realize.
Anything more and they double down on the bad relationship
(/me Waiting for my sister-in-law to divorce the abusive mysoginist asshat military son of a military man that is currently making her and her children's life suck)