this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2025
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The Onion
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It honestly takes me a moment to realize it's not real.
Because I expect this lunatic to say this. Or to tell people to drink mercury.
Obligatory don't drink murcury... That said, there are 2 types and one is biologically innert so like... If you WANT to feel dense pools of metal splash down through your guts like... You can. It does nothing beneficial to your body except maybe the chance to dislodge something? Go ahead and ask your doctor, I'm sure he would enjoy the laugh.
Wellness MLMs and scams often talk about toxins and old shit being stuck on intestines like they are physical pipes. And then sell stuff that will dislodge and clear that stuff out.
So, there's probably someone trying to sell mercury to people for that already.
Me too. I clicked on it before I realized it's The Onion.
It didn't get me that much but there were a few seconds of me thinking "he said that? Noooo. I just. Wait, how can? Nooo...", before I realised it was satire.
I've come to understand that satire is a canary in the coal mine for a society. The minute it becomes indescernible from the facts, something has gone seriously awry with society at large.
I actually didn't doubt it at all. He would 1000% say something this stupid.
his lips does get blue from drinking methylene blue.