Not The Onion

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We Paid Some Etsy Witches to Curse Charlie Kirk (www.jezebel.com)

submitted 1 day ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 105 points 1 day ago (11 children)

Wow, that is impeccable timing.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 65 points 1 day ago (10 children)

47 hours and 21 minutes before he was shot....

Sounds like they got the intensity off a little tho:

I want to make it clear, I’m not calling on dark forces to cause him harm. I just want him to wake up every morning with an inexplicable zit. I want his podcast microphone to malfunction every time he hits record. I want his blue blazers to suddenly all be one size too small. I want one of his socks to always be sliding down his foot. I want his thumb to grow too big to tweet. To ruin his day with the collective feminist power of the Etsy coven would be my life’s greatest joy.

Maybe they forgot Venus was in retrograde?

[–] Riftinducer@aussie.zone 8 points 1 day ago

It's that "ruin his day with the collective feminist power of the Etsy coven" line that gets me. Talk about undersell, overdeliver

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