this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2025
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That’s a lot of words to say you don’t understand the difference. Not knowing something is fine, but fighting it like this is weird. You’re not helping anything with this comment and instead are basically trying to say that it’s not a problem enough to even talk about or understand. If you cannot handle this information that’s something to look inwardly at, not lash out at me for simply explaining what it is.
Women feel talked down because they are women and they can see the exact same men treating other men differently. I regularly see this happen to them, too. Sometimes it’s a small accident and sometimes it’s very much on purpose and all of it is important to understand. I don’t know why you want to pretend like it doesn’t happen but it does either way.
It happens, I'm not denying that.
But the cure is worse than the poison. The term primes people to see it where it isn't there, and that's extraordinarily toxic.
Call them a misogynist and be done with it. I know it when I see it. You know it when you see it.
It's like man spreading. It's ok to be comfortable. It's not ok to push into other people's personal space. If you're alone on a bench, who gives a fuck. If you want to signal "I'd prefer no one sit next to me", that's fine until someone sits next to you. Then you're an asshole or you're not, we don't need extra words to gender niche behaviors
Words are perception. Labeling a thing primes you to see it. These overly specific, gender based labels are harmful
It literally makes the world worse for everyone involved to create subcategories of asshole behavior based on gender dynamics
The cure is not worse than the poison. And if you admit that it happens, and you also say we should call them misogynist if they’re doing it, then calling someone out for “mansplaining” is exactly that except for some reason you don’t like it.
It’s giving “I’m fine with the protests I just don’t think they should block traffic or otherwise get in my way.”
Yeah well disputing traffic does something. It makes people feel the breakdown of society in a visceral way
The concept of mansplaining is discharitable. It is bad to prime people to spot it, because false positives are extremely damaging to interpersonal relations.
Don't give it a name, just call it what it is: talking to a sexist asshole. There's no confusion there... It doesn't matter if they're being patronizing or making rude comments, the Venn diagram is a circle.
You're taking to a bigot, or you're not. And when you're not, you're probably talking to someone neurodivergent, who is genuinely trying to communicate in good faith
If you’ve already agreed that the person is sexist then people will just say that anyone doing it is sexist and you’ll complain that people are primed to say it and “false positives…” and all that.
It sounds like you’ve felt personally hurt by this in the past less than there’s a good argument here.
And you're projecting even more things on me now. You're not speaking to me as an equal. You're not trying to come to common understanding.
You're just trying to fight the strawman you carried into this conversation
Which is my whole point. What you're doing, right now, is what I think this word leads to.
Mansplaining is a type of dickishness. It is not a wholesale replacement, just a version thereof. You are outright refusing to allow for the refinement of an idea and I do not know why aside from somehow this specific level of detail is the line which you have decided is “dangerous”. Hell, you don’t even seem to be against the idea that there is a specifically male-on-female sexist dickishness but rather just hate that there is a term for it that people can use to more effectively communicate the idea.
You don’t have a stance I could even make a strawman up for, you just hate that something has a name.