this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2025
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[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Big Bird will become very hardcore Christian.

Snuffleupagus will be used as a scapegoat for wokeness and all on the show will just put him down and say why he’s wrong.

Burt and Ernie will just be killed off because they’re woke or they become Tate bros.

Oscar the Grouch will be the new spokesperson for mega corps and he will advocate for trash everywhere being normal and a sign of great wealth.

Elmo will be turned from red to orange and just spout off talking points for Rs.

Abby will get a Mar A Lago makeover and always be behind some male character and using agreeing phrases like a rap hype man.

The Count will be a villain who is mad because tariffs work on his country so he’s always trying to destroy Sesame Street.

Cookie Monster and Grover will be talking about the greatness of ICE (Imminent Cookie Enforcers) and reporting your neighbors. They will constantly be arresting the brown puppets that are trying to take cookies from the real kids on the show.

All the real kids will be white.