this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2025
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[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 89 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (6 children)

That didn't happen.
"The files don't exist."

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
"It's just full of Democrats."

And if it was, that's not a big deal.
"Old news, move on already."

And if it is, that's not my fault.
"Somebody planted my name in it."

And if it was, I didn't mean it.
???

And if I did, you deserved it.
???

That last one is going to be a doozey.

[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

Re last one … they wanted to be models and make money, and Epstein made it happen… so they deserved being abused?

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 11 points 3 days ago

We already know how the last one is gonna go. "If they didn't want to get raped they shouldn't be dressing so suggestively"

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"I thought the kids were all in college" or "I thought they were dolls"

[–] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 days ago

Maybe instead of thirty dolls, this year Donald only gets two, but they cost a bit more.

[–] FanciestPants@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

And if i did, it was in my official capacity as president, so I'm allowed to do it.

[–] riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 days ago

Oooh, Oooh! Let me guess the last two!

Umm, something along the lines of "it was locker room talk." As in, "any guy in my position would have done the same."

And for the last one... "They were asking for it!" Like they don't think of the children as children, think of them as non-humans who were begging to be-

Ugh, this bit is too gross to continue.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
???

I tripped and my egg-shaped penis accidentally went into her vagina. 137 times.