this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2025
591 points (98.8% liked)
Not The Onion
17239 readers
1930 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Worried about medicaid cuts? Just stop getting/being sick, duh!
It's really that simple!
Alternatively, you could stop being so poor. Simple as that!
you can buy your 5th house to rent and draw from your multimillionaire trust fund.
You can also borrow 100 million, build some commercial properties, and lease them to tenants.
or just sit on vacant lots .
Need infinite power?
Big electric doesnt want you to know this simple trick
collapsed inline media
Me is very smort
Electo patroium Me into office
Alternatively, you should try being a velociraptor. I hear they don't get sick nearly as often as humans.
When was the last time you saw a velociraptor coughing from pneumonia? Never. How about a velociraptor with depression, anxiety, cancer or heart disease? Yeah, never seen any of that either. Those guys just handle it like it's nothing.