this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
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A perfect origin story of a villain.
Jeremy then goes on a crime spree, but he was caught early on because he is a snail… with a left-coiled shell. The shell prints at the crime scenes helped narrow it down to him instantly.
Jeremy and their other two potential partners. But these two have an alibi. Seems like they had a shell of a time (⌐■-■)
Take all of your things and get out.
(ಠ_ಠ)>⌐■-■ Even during the interview things were slowly getting out of hand again (⌐■-■)
Perfect candidate for the immortal snail that would be out to get you.
With the decoy snail of course.
collapsed inline media
Jeremy the incel in shell
In shell
Drawing pictures
Of fence tops
With him on top
Lemon yellow sun
Eyestalks raised in a V
The dead lay in pools of pale blue below
Scientists tried to give attention
To the fact that his shell turned left
Snail Jeremy the Wicked
Ruled his world, but
Jeremy didn't get laid today
Jeremy didn't get laid today
Clearly I remember
Pickin' on the boy
Seemed a harmless little mollusc
Oh, but we unleashed a hedgehog
Gnashed his radula
Shot darts at mantles
How could I forget
He hit me with a surprise bump
My shell left hurtin'
Oh, tipped right over
Just like the day
Like the day I heard
Scientists tried to give affection
But the boy was something the others wouldn't mate
Snail Jeremy the Wicked
Ruled his world
Jeremy didn't get laid today
Jeremy didn't get laid today
Jeremy didn't get laid today
Try to forget this... (try to forget this)
Try to erase this... (try to erase this)
From the postdoc paper
Jeremy didn't get laid today
Jeremy didn't get laid today
Perfection!