I think for that last paragraph it's a thing where sex and processing emotions are equally taboo to a lot of men who are as fucked up as you described. Except sex and even utilizing a sex worker's services fit within a script they have the mental space to comprehend. You sneak off, have sex, pay, shut up about it. Whereas asking a friend if they can help you process some stuff over a beer or going to therapy are public in the sense that they aren't hidden. They're awkward, they involve potential accountability and may demand change. They're hard and seeing a sex worker in such a way is cathartic and exciting in all the ways that telling a friend you're worried you aren't masculine enough isn't.

But also yeah, sexuality does also seem to just be where misc mental issues wind up dumped. I'm certainly not one to judge about any of that shit. I just suspect some people only go to sex to deal with it instead of also working to become mentally healthy. Like you can still be freaky once you are, in fact you often get better at it.