this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world 73 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, the issue with the targeted person calling it out is that it just allows the attacker to pull the classic DARVO tactic and play the victim. If you fight back, it allows them to paint you in a bad light and use you as an example against everyone like you.

That’s why it’s so important to have allies. It’s the ally’s job to get angry and confrontational when the victimized person can’t. When the victim needs to maintain decorum, the ally should be flipping tables and getting in the victimizer’s face about it. Because Keating is an old white guy; His identity can’t be used to further victimize trans people like McBride’s would have been.

This is a perfect example of how the situation should play out. Bully tries to throw insults. The insulted person remains calm, but their ally gets in the bully’s face and makes a scene. The bully quickly retreats when they realize that they may need to actually back up their words, and the original victim is able to say that they did nothing wrong.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 15 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

This is well articulated. This dynamic is something I think of a lot, because as a cis woman, I often have a disproportionate level of social power in scenarios similar to this

[–] reiterationstation@lemm.ee 1 points 11 hours ago

Do you? As a loud mouth myself typically they just make me out to be hysterical.

I still do it.