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It goes without saying that self hosting uses a lot of bandwidth. But I'm curious.. how much do y'all use? Post your stats!
What exactly are you self-hosting that's gobbling up that much data? I've been self-hosting my website for decades and haven't used that much over all that time let alone in one month.
Most of my bandwidth consumption is from torrents and downloading Steam games, but even that doesn't get me to even 1tb/month.
Video is what gobbles up that much data. They likely have friends and family streaming from their media server.
40 TiB per month are 1.3 TiB daily. Even at 10 GiB per movie that's 100 movies every single day. I doubt that is the reason.
Plenty of 4k HDR videos are 50+GB each and OP could have a dozen people or more watching each day plus new downloads, online backups, seeding, etc.
I have a decent sized server with terrible upload speeds in the 15Mbps range that I share with some friends and family, and I still have 5-6 people streaming from my server almost constantly. If I had a symmetrical connection, I wouldn't be shy about sharing it more and uncapping the remote bitrate settings and I could easily see myself hitting these numbers even though almost all my content is 720p and 1080p.
So how much traffic do you generate?
I'm currently at 3TB a month and that's with capping my seeding speeds to 2Mbps and remote streams to 3Mbps (essentially SD quality) to conserve what little upload speed I have to split amongst my users.
I don't know why you're so adamant that this can't be the cause when video is hands down the most common reason for high data usage. Downloading a video is just 1x the file size in data usage but streaming to friends and family can easily increase that 1x infinitely based on the number of users. Then throw seeding on top of that and you increase it another 5x or what have you.
I'm browsing Tautulli right now and the little 4k content I have has a bitrate of 25Mbps for an hour long TV episode while movies like Akira in 4k has a bitrate of 90Mbps, Bladerunner 2049 70Mbps, Encanto 72Mbps. That crap adds up quickly. Imagine 6 kids who all have Encanto playing over and over again in the background, which amounts to 1TB of data used in 6 hours if they all play it 3 times.
What do you suspect is the cause of so much data usage if not video streaming?
Downloading tons of content. Seems more likely than being a central streaming hub for tons of people for multiple reasons.
And what would those "multiple reasons" be? Where is OP storing 400TB worth of downloads?