this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
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[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 20 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

While there is a kernel of truth about the whole gay men stereotype I can't say I ever met a girl who wouldn't date or dumped a guy if she learned he had a bi/gay phase. The only thing that comes close was the guy who got dumped cause he cheated on his gf with her gay best friend.

Hell I had a girl actually try to hook up with me because she heard a rumor I did something with a twink (I hadn't) and wanted set up some weird love triangle with her bi twink friend. I backed away from that one cause it was clear the guy crushed bad for her and there was no way that relationship was going to end with everyone walking away content.

[–] Gladaed@feddit.org 18 points 5 days ago (3 children)

"Straight" just cause you are in a relationship with a member of another sex doesn't make you straight.

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[–] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 6 days ago (21 children)

It's definitely a thing but i doubt it's progressive women who are perpetuating it.

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[–] Vreyan31@reddthat.com 14 points 5 days ago (7 children)

I think the difference is the perceived energy barrier if one wanted to fool around on their partner if they a bi vs het.

A bi guy could, hypothetically, find a guy on grindr pretty much on a whim if he wanted to. This is a much lower barrier than straight guys face unless they seek a sex worker. If you are a woman in the early stages of dating someone, where you don't know yet how much you can trust a guy, if a guy tells you he is bi that can come off as a higher cheating risk than a straight guy.

Straight guys dating a bi-girl don't have a similar perceived risk increase. Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as 'cheating', vs a bonus for his enjoyment. But also - finding a new girl to date is considered harder than finding an interested guy. So the 'cheating' risk doesn't feel that much higher for guys dating a bi-girl compared to a straight girl; he may feel like he is still mostly competing against other guys.

Is this fair or even realistic? No, this is based on perceived stereotypes rather than the behaviors and character of individuals.

But this plays out at a stage of dating where people don't know each other well yet and are relying on heuristics.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 20 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

It's also that gay sex is gross, and lesbian sex is 'hot'.

The policing around male sexuality is far more intense than it is around female sexuality. Also applies to sexual assault and statutory rape. a lady does it, NBD, if a guy does it, it's a heinous act.

Further, how many people agonize about female pedophiles vs male pedophiles?

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[–] Lucelu2@lemmy.zip 12 points 5 days ago

Um, no. I am an old Xer lady and we know men can be bi too. And like the ladies... sexuality is on a continuum. Some people just love to canoodle with young beautiful bodies no matter what flavor... and as we get older, old beautiful kind considerate people.

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