this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
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The joke was already making the rounds among diplomats during his first term: Negotiating with the president of the United States, Donald Trump, is like playing chess with a pigeon. The bird furiously flaps its wings, knocks over all the pieces while cooing with delight, then defecates on the board and says, "I won!" In reality, Trump has lost a lot at this game.

When facing down China, which Trump threatened with a tariff apocalypse, or the head of the Federal Reserve, Jerome Powell, whom he tried to destabilize, Trump merely flapped his wings wildly, but it made no difference. And when he "wins" – which does happen – it is at the cost of indescribable chaos that affects everyone. That is how, at the end of June, Trump shattered a jewel of multilateralism: the global minimum tax on multinational profits, the result of the broadest international tax agreement ever reached.

In October 2021, for the first time, this agreement put a stop to the global race to the bottom in corporate taxation, which for decades had undermined state revenues and exacerbated inequality. More than 130 countries agreed to a minimum tax of 15% on large corporate profits. Admittedly, the rate remained modest; admittedly, exemptions weakened the measure. But at least, under the leadership of the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) and the G20, an agreement finally made it possible to stand up to large corporations.

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[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 84 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I dunno man, pigeons can be pretty damn intelligent.

[–] Pistcow@lemmy.world 106 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Its really hard to come up with an insult for Trump that isnt disparaging to what's being compared to.

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 35 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This right here, is the insult you were looking for.

The answers for this kind of fucked up lay in paradoxes.

For example:

If Trump was just 10% better, he would seem far worse.

What do I mean? Every single day is some new shit we need to digest, yet we hadn't even spent the time to fully digest the last ridiculous shit he said. If we actually had time to process everything then he would appear far worse.

[–] ShieldsUp@startrek.website 23 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I recently saw a pigeon doing its mating ritual trying to attract another pigeon in my yard. That other pigeon had been dead for over a week! That didn't stop the mating attempt. This is also how I picture trump.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Except Trump wouldn't bother with mating rituals.

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

Yeah, people say when you’re famous they just let you do it.

[–] jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk 8 points 21 hours ago

He'd just grab it by the cloaca.

[–] griff@lemmings.world 0 points 1 day ago

all the progeny of walter, one supposed

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm pretty sure you could drop a phone-less trump less than even 100m from his home without him being able to find his way back

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago

That’s an insult to pigeons.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] spirinolas@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

Is that tariff in this room with us?

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You can train a pigeon to shit in the toilet, and they will panic when its inaccessible before giving up and pooping as close as possible

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 5 points 23 hours ago

Well that's just cruel.

[–] Bread@sh.itjust.works 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

What you do if put in a similar situation? Would it be any different?

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I can open the door and I leave it open for the pigeon who free roams the house, but grandma keeps closing it then complaining about shit in front of the door...

[–] Bread@sh.itjust.works 1 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

No no, if you were the pigeon. Lock out of the bathroom and nowhere to go. That corner by the door looks pretty enticing when you are getting ready to shit yourself.

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 3 points 16 hours ago

oh well yeah if I was a pigeon I'd have no choice. judging by the size of the nug, she tries to hold it in pretty long before giving it up. sometimes I open the door and she rushes in out of nowhere, stands above the toilet and looks down before backing in and dropping bombs like hiroshima

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If Europe backs down every time, Trump will never stop turning the chessboard upside down.

One would think these world leaders had already learned this from their mothers and fathers about bullies. I guess not. When the money is threatened, what little backbone they have just slides right down out of their buttholes.

Archive link

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 10 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, pull a China and say, we're immediately on putting a 1000% tariffs on any American products. This will functionally stop any trade between our nations. Trump can retailiate with a higher one, but it would just be pointless dick waving. We're fine with waiting until an intelligent and capable person is able to negotiate a trade deal with the EU on behalf of the USA.

[–] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 1 points 13 hours ago

No, just put a large import tax on their services, and watch European ones proliferate. If ads are 50% more expensive on google and Facebook, the ROI is terrible and nobody used them. Advertisers will choose European alternatives instead, channelling money back to journalism and European search alternatives. Now is the ideal time as Google is becoming worse for search.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 17 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (2 children)

This wasn’t invented for Trump. It’s been used to describe debating creationists for the past 20 years, but (edit: I suspect) has its origins in a Seseme Street skit.

https://youtu.be/82Dkf_UH_aI

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Pigeon_chess

[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 6 points 21 hours ago

Notes -

Not to be be confused with "Playing Checkers With Pigeons" appearing in a Sesame Street sketch from 1978.[1]

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 1 points 21 hours ago

I mean the article doesn't claim it was. I thought this was a pretty common saying.

[–] kyub@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 day ago

A pigeon is strictly better than Trump because they don't destroy the environment, societal and scientific progress, or other people. Now that I've thought about it 1 second more, it's not even a fair comparison. Because Trump existing means active harm and destruction in many areas.

[–] selkiesidhe@sh.itjust.works 6 points 19 hours ago

TACO drumpf

Always disrespecting the pigeons smh

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Wish I could find that video clip I saw the other day of a girl losing a game of tic tac toe to a pigeon at some kind of park.

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 4 points 12 hours ago

A pigeon that can send B-2s ...

[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago

I wonder how a stone could work.