this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
118 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

17159 readers
1758 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 14 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 21 points 2 days ago

Most guys just have one python in their pants.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 8 points 2 days ago

13.5 is crazy, gawd damn

Bro just wanted some mother fucking snakes on a mother fucking plane.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Maybe they're afraid of heights!

[–] CrazyLikeGollum@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

🎵 My python don't want none unless you got buns, hun!" 🎵

He was packing a Hydra in his pants

[–] PainInTheAES@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Of course, they're ball pythons

3 pythons? I hope Cleese was one of them, he's great

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 2 days ago

Can you imagine if a bite in that area?

[–] LuckyDevil@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago

Airport Security: "Is that three pythons in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago

Poor airport security, nobodies ever just happy to see them :(

[–] Zier@fedia.io 3 points 2 days ago

Dammmmn! You gotta nice snake!!

[–] toomanypancakes@piefed.world 3 points 2 days ago

I was so concerned when I misread it as more than 3 pythons somehow. Only three isn't so bad.