this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 150 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Fake: Girl is interested in anon

Gay: Anon isn't interested in girl

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 26 points 1 day ago

Girl is interested in fries.

[–] Uli@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 day ago

The prophecy

This is the one lmao

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 106 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Fries are usually not going to get you laid. But sharing a couple fries would’ve improved anon’s likability among that girl and maybe her friends, which is probably not a bad thing.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 47 points 2 days ago

Why risk anons virginity like that?

[–] oce@jlai.lu 37 points 2 days ago

Is that worth losing fries?

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But then you go for it and end up with the girlfriend that's "not hungry" till you get your food and then she asks to borrow a fry. And you're like "how's ya gonna borrow a fry, you gonna give it back?"

[–] WhiteBurrito@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

It's missing a word, but if you know the reference, you're hearing the whole quote lol

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

No, fuck that! Fast food runs in the AMs while wasted build character, he did her a favour!

Plus those are MY fries until we're an item! You can have half of my burger, though...

[–] iowagneiss@midwest.social 4 points 1 day ago

A person who cannot provide their own fries is not a viable or suitable mate. Anon made a prudent decision.

[–] Uli@sopuli.xyz 100 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Anon made the right call, she only wanted him for his fries, she would have been gone once the fries were gone.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 38 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Yes officer this bait right here.

Edit: After further discussion, I don't think they were baiting.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 3 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] beveradb@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There was a post on here a few days ago which got a lot of visibility which was a screenshot and/or meme about some guy who massively overreacted to a seagull stealing one of his chips (aka fries in USian), grabbing the seagull by the legs and slamming it into a wall, killing it 😬

I suspect that's what this other person thought your comment was subtly referencing 😅

(for the record I'm British and have had seagulls steal my chips multiple times, they're super bold in the UK and it's really annoying tbh but anyone who reacts by killing one is a psycho)

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 2 points 1 day ago

Hmm I think I vaguely remember that post; definitely wasn't referencing it in my comment though.

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 4 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Well maybe your not bating.

Like a seagull. :/

Where did seagull come from, did you have a pet seagull?

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Seagulls are known for stealing food and running (well, flying) off with it.

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, then, never mind, I thought you were referencing another post. Sorry for the distraction.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 3 points 1 day ago

No worries, it happens lol.

[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

bro they fly everywhere, nobody knows where a particular seagull came from. replace it with a pigeon if that's more appropriate to your location

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They’re just outside waiting for fries.

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

~~Well, then never mind, I thought you were refencing another post. Sorry for the distraction.~~

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’m not the person you were talking to, to be clear. 🤪

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Darnnit, I need to double check these things.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

Haha no worries I do the same thing all the time.

[–] kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 day ago

In case you're serious, I think the :/ conveys feelings of disappointment that seagulls leave you when you run out of fries, which has obvious implications in a romantic context.

Maybe shes acturally multiple seagulls in a trenchcoat

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

omg I'm using this next time someone asks for my food

[–] lemmy12369@midwest.social 5 points 1 day ago

It would been that meme where the top panel: guy has fries Bottom panel: eww hr he has no fries

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 69 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Anon wouldn't have gotten jackshit even if she gave this woman a french fry buffet, his moves were based and chadpilled.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 57 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just because you're horny, doesn't mean I'm horny. I just bought food. I'm hungry, not horny.

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Hansae@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 21 hours ago

Wtf js cottgage xore

[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Good on you, Anon. She was obviously drunk and would be unable to consent.

Who knows, maybe she has high blood pressure and can't properly consent to the fries.

[–] Stormdancer@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Girl only wants one thing, and it's disgusting!

[–] sulgoth@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well they're McDonald's fries so you can definately do worse.

[–] Ibuthyr@lemmy.wtf 2 points 1 day ago

McDonald's fries are quite literally the saddest excuse for fries, what are you talking about?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 days ago

Never fall prey to the bait!

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 day ago

Yeah you're not touching the fries before touching genitals, just saying.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Gotta try friesmaxxing

Fake: this didn't happen

Gay: annon doesn't hang out with women

[–] veroxii@aussie.zone 1 points 1 day ago

It's a tarp!