this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2025
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To this day, she remembers the racing thoughts, the instant nausea, the hairs prickling up on her legs, the sweaty palms. She had shared a photograph of herself in her underwear with a boy she trusted and, very soon, it had been sent around the school and across her small home town, Aberystwyth, Wales. She became a local celebrity for all the wrong reasons. Younger kids would approach her laughing and ask for a hug. Members of the men’s football team saw it – and one showed someone who knew Davies’s nan, so that’s how her family found out.

Her book, No One Wants to See Your D*ck, takes a deep dive into the negatives. It covers Davies’s experiences in the digital world – that includes cyberflashing such as all those unsolicited dick pics – as well as the widespread use of her images on pornography sites, escort services, dating apps, sex chats (“Ready for Rape? Role play now!” with her picture alongside it). However, the book also shines a light on the dark online men’s spaces, what they’re saying, the “games” they’re playing. “I wanted to show the reality of what men are doing,” says Davies. “People will say: ‘It’s not all men’ and no, it isn’t, but it also isn’t a small number of weirdos on the dark web in their mum’s basements. These are forums with millions of members on mainstream sites such as Reddit, Discord and 4chan. These are men writing about their wives, their mums, their mate’s daughter, exchanging images, sharing women’s names, socials and contact details, and no one – not one man – is calling them out. They’re patting each other on the back.”

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[–] randomname@sh.itjust.works 20 points 5 days ago (10 children)

99% of men are disgusted by this type of thing, but with billions of people and instant communication. this type of thing is bound to pop up. and because normal people aren't looking at this type of thing, they're echo chambers of degeneracy. but it really bothers me when people use sex based generalizations for things like this. millions of people isn't very much on a global scale.

[–] Guns0rWeD13@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

99% of men are disgusted by this type of thing

wow. naive.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Yeah, these days I'm thinking it might actually be a double digit percentage that's onboard. The manosphere has enough reach to affect elections now, which I did not see coming.

[–] Guns0rWeD13@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

i did. saw it in 2016 and had a hunch before that.

the only thing that shocks me anymore is how naive most of you are.

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[–] Bazoogle@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago (3 children)

As a man, it's also reasonable to say this is nearly non existent among women. Does it happen? Of course. But not nearly to the scale it happens among men.

It's moreso a matter of semantics. If someone says "Men are disgusting", you don't have to take it literally. It's conveying the meaning that there is a large enough amount of men that are doing this that it is a massive problem in nearly every woman's life. The saying would be a bit less valid if it was so extremely prevalent. But as it stands, I can go up to just about any young woman, and they more than likely would have (at least) been sexually harassed by a man.

So sure, with as many people as there are, it's "bound to pop up" but saying it that way seems to undermine just how prevalent it is. And correcting a statement that expresses the sentiment that this is a large problem by saying "But not all men are bad" is counterproductive. They are talking about the systematic issue among men. You could instead respond with "Yea, we need systematic changes" or something along the lines that address the concern they are raising.

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[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

I just like that she calls out and lumps in 4chan with Reddit and Discord—because that's really what's it's become now. I mean there are dicks lurking and active in any corner of the Internet but those platforms in particular are obviously mainstream enough or known to harbor all kinds.... especially the kind she talks about.

[–] dbbljack@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago (2 children)

When I was in HS if a girl wanted to show you some racy pics she'd just show you on HER phone.

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[–] toastmeister@lemmy.ca 12 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

AI will fix this. Everyone will have nudes of everyone, and nobody will believe anything is real.

Even watching porn will be weird, when you can only assume what youre watching is a computer trying its best to not turn the womens bumhole into a picture of a dog.

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