this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2025
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They're the best! I used to leave them "snacks" and make little picnic scenes for them in my Mom's garden way back when โ and that was after one bit me in fright, too. At first, I was kinda doing it as a sort of act-of-service apology, after imagining the li'l guy's perspective on being picked up. They're adorable garden guppies, every one of 'em. ๐ฅฐ
They are cute, after you clean the shit from your pants. I have snake phobia, for good reason. We also had the occasional rattle snake that would show up in the garden as well, but at least they came with a car alarm to warn you. We also had venomous water moccasins, and the worst, blue racers. These things would literally chase us on our bikes (and even some cars) and they are incredibly fast. Have you ever been chased by a snake on a bike? I wouldn't recommend it. Lots of therapy and safe spaces needed afterwards.
We had moccasins, too, and those fuckers are psycho. Especially in the water. Hellll nah. Rattlers don't chase you, and if you're not paying attention in the wilderness, you're fucked one way or another, eventually. The only blue racer I was afraid of was the old AF 'coaster @ Cedar Point (Red & Blue Racers'd switch up which one was going backwards, and you never knew until it started moving โ and stupid fast!) That said, I have been chased by an alligator on a bike, though I've no idea how it reached the pedals.
We have lived to tell!
Frankly, I was hoping someone'd ask how the 'gator was giving chase via bicycle, but maybe it was only vivid in my own mind. ๐