Couple of observations. I am the sole earner in our house. I am fortunate that I make about $140k and we live suburban Texas. In our family of 4 our basic expenses are as follows.

Mortgage is $2100/ month

Homeowners insurance $400/ month

Property tax $200/month

Car insurance $185/month

Electricity $250/month (average)

Natural gas $40/month

Water+trash $200/month

Internet $90/month

Streaming (disney/netflix/audible) $45/month

Groceries $400-600/month

Gas $200/month

Toll roads $50-100/month

Cell phone $200/month

Coffee once a week $40/month

Date night food (once a week) $500/month

Fucking health insurance for the family is $750/month (my contribution, my employer pays the majority)

Roughly $6250/month give or take.

We don't have consumer debt, no car notes, no child care (stay at home parent cares for the kids) no daycare, and no paid child activities.

That is just our fixed expenses, something always comes up so obviously there is more but its inconsistent.

My car is a 2019 wrx that was $30k we paid it off last year but the note on that was $470/month. I couldn't get that car for that price today.

We have an older suv for my partner and I have an old pickup that sits unused unless we need to make a hardware run, those vehicles are paid for, no loans and have been for 10+ years.

Our last house was purchased for $191k in 2016 and we sold it for $295k this past year.

Our insurance went from $1200/year to $4800 per year on that house before we sold it. Similar thing with property taxes.

Unless you have managed a 10% return or salary increase, your money doesn't go as far as it used to.

I am happy to pay my fair share of taxes. For what I am paid, I feel like its reasonable to contribute more in taxes based on my earnings, but as a result, my take home is obviously not $140k. So when you figure fixed expenses are ~$75k, plus my 401k contributions, savings for my kids college fund, and incidentals for stuff like car tires, birthdays, christmas, house repairs, medical expenses, etc, its relatively easy to eat up the remainder of that pool.