Here's an anecdote: When I studied abroad, I met a guy who was in his master's program for psychology, and he wasn't convinced that phobias were a real thing and not something else. Some day, we tried to get home to the dorm through the rain in the dark, and he eventually ended up carrying me home. Before we said good night, he told me that he now has finally seen someone with a phobia, and now believes they are a real thing.

I am actually scared of all wormy creatures, ie long, no vertebrate, no legs or more than 10. That also means I am scared of bugs and flies, not because I am scared of them - I am scared of their kids. (I haven't taken the trash out in 8 years or so.)

And to me it makes only sense. I cannot understand how others aren't scared to death. I cannot explain what it is, I can tell you this: it is not just disgust. It is not just their form or smth. It's a genuine fear. I get tense just writing about this. I would never do therapy because to me the thought of being ok with it is not appealing. I don't want to be ok with it. Fuck that. Y'all should do therapy to realize that you're crazy for being ok with it. (I'm joking, I know that's wrong, but this is 100% how it feels.) I would rather chop off my arm than touch it. I would, and I mean this, rather let my mother die, than touch it. I regularly reevaluate these statements and they are still true.

I am fine with snakes and spiders tho lol.