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Trump to Replace USS with PTS (President Trump’s Ship) on all Navy Vessels in January 2026 (ttrpg.network)

submitted 1 day ago by bradorsomething@ttrpg.network to c/theonion@midwest.social

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(Annapolis, Maryland) As the trump administration tries desperately to distract from the Epstein files, a new directive has come out to change all Navy vessels’ designation of USS - United States Ship - with the designation PTS, signifying the ship is controlled by president trump. Navy command is expected to begin the new designations at the start of the year.

When questioned at a golf outing in Scotland, trump defended the move. “Well I’m the commander, see… I’m the commander, and I command. These are my ships, because I’m commanding them, so they should say my name. They should, in facts maybe ‘trump’s ship’ is all we need, that will scare the pirates off.”

Washington insiders have trouble deciding if the new move is vanity, an attack on perceived lack of support from the Navy, or a distraction from the Epstein files.

The Department of Defense had no comment on the change.

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[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'm excited to see our solid gold battleships plummet like a rock to the bottom of launch bay

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

They are our best defense against the sunk russian ships.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

The only thing that stops a bad ship at the bottom of the ocean is a good ship at the bottom of the ocean.

Also, all the ocean above it...