RealSpiderLane

I can work on/repair basically anything old. Things from a certain period and back just make sense, plain and simple.

I can shave with a straight razor, operate an oil lamp (and I have several throughout my house,) hell, I’m a musician, and I recorded on tape until 2014, using clunky, old multitrack tape machines, which I can also repair and maintain. (I still dream of getting ahold of an 8-track reel machine, a Tascam 80-8 or especially a 388. They are stupid expensive if you can find a working one at all.)

I got ahold of a big box of Canadian candy recently, gave some to my (very Republican) mom. She was amazed how much better it is, and how much shorter the ingredient list is. The chocolate itself isn’t like candle wax. (She had also never had a Coffee Crisp before, poor thing.)

Yeah; they don’t let companies use car antifreeze as a preservative! (Fireball whiskey is banned pretty much everywhere except the USA for this reason. The preservative is literally antifreeze.)

Swear to fuck, we could dramatically improve national health in a few months if we’d shut our mouths and open our eyes. Oh, and every single thing on our store shelves? Replace it with the Euro version; they have all the same stuff we do, it’s just vastly better made.

As much as I don’t care for Newsom, he’s playing this well. Using the photos of the guys piled on each other in some classroom to call out Trump directly.

Political affiliations don’t matter here; Americans like soldiers. Especially older people, they get livid seeing our soldiers get treated like shit.

#GoodWorkGavin

I’m a pro musician. I was in a big rock band in the mid 2010s, and we were doing all kinds of cool shit. It imploded over stuff that didn’t really involve me, but following that, I went into a serious drunk-depression that lasted years and almost killed me.

I cleaned up, going on two years sober, have a new band together, and are about to open ourselves up to the world and start booking shows. It’ll be my first shows completely sober since like 2012. It’s terrifying, but I’m excited as hell.

Punk rock music has fallen by the wayside. Time to try and bring it back to life. 🤘

I feel that. I actually was just lamenting that a minute ago, looking at the bottom of my Zippo lighter, which says “1941 Replica.”

“Man, imagine living in a time when nobody thought smoking was bad for you…” - my brain

Imagine living in 1902, when you could just go to the store and buy cocaine and heroin for your toothache.

Hell, listening to the fun our parents had growing up. It shouldn’t be punishable by years in prison to shoot off some fireworks at a party. (I live in OH, our fireworks laws are brutal. Us and Utah, man.)

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with lamenting that the past is gone. Yes, there were bad things we’re better off without, but we lost and gave up a lot, too. Missing those things isn’t wrong.

Do grits count? Grits with as close to an entire stick of hot butter as someone will let me have.

I’m surprised his favorite president is still Jackson, when we actually had a Confederate (ex) president.

President John Tyler, who took over after the death of William Henry Harrison, supported and joined the Confederate States’ Congress later in life, though he died before he could actually take his seat in it.

They will argue that a toddler has all three.

Obama at the first inauguration: “now’s your chance, call it off,”

Trump: “you’re a funny weiner, aren’t you?”

Exactly this.

Say it with me. Both. Parties.

Probably some bootleg Cialis in bowls on each table.

I don’t think so, BUT the usefulness of it will vary depending on where you live and work.

I took five years of Spanish in school, last three were honors and I got college credit for them.

I kept it up on my own, but in my area, mostly useless. Hilariously, I’ve gotta be the one person who who’ve benefitted more from taking all that time to instead learn French; there aren’t a ton of Hispanic immigrants in my area. What there are…a lot of Africans, many of whom speak at least a version of French. (They’re from places like the DR Congo that are former French colonies. Fun fact: a small few elderly Somalis still speak Italian for the same reason.)

In the field I’m in now (private security,) any extra language skills will be useful. I speak English and Spanish, some Russian, some Welsh (from grandparents,) some Xhosa (South African,) and little bits of numerous others.

The Welsh is mostly useless today, I’ll admit, haha.