The moths. Most likely not to eat me.
this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2025
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Moths!
Or maybe bees. I have always wanted to hug a bumblebee.
Bees 100%
No kidding, bunch of weirdos around here
Moths. AKA goth butterflies.
You mean glam butterflies
Not only that, the only thing that makes them spooky and startling is that they randomly fly around like a dumbass towards anything light related.
When they're just sitting still being chill they're actually quite adorable.
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...Right next to the oil furnace in the basement, trying to figure out how to rig it to blow and burn the place down.
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Team arachnids!
No way. What's their name?
That's a she.
Woooah where did you get your tarantula sexing powers? (Sexing them is a tad difficult) :P This one is indeed a female. Care to suggest a name for her?
Eloise sounds kinda charming.
She's a bit bulkier than a male judging from the photo. Ofc it could also be true for some males but it was a solid guess ngl. She's gorgeous tho.
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outside
Bees because bees are usually pretty chill and I like chill. Especially the bumblebees.
Tangent, there is a fun fantasy book series by Adrian Tchaikovsky where all the main characters are humanoids with bug qualities. So basically spiderman, antman, mantisman, etc. It is entertaining when you mix fantasy tropes (dueling for honour!) with mantis arm spikes...
The Insect-kindens! And it is quite a lengthy series, at that, if anyone is looking for something new to get into (not to mention he actually finishes series, unlike another fantasy writer...)
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I would definitely want to be friends with the mantises in case they go postal one day
Mantises even eat their own partners. How safe do you think being friends with them will be?
Listen, nobody knows what happened to Stacey's boyfriend's head, it's just an unsolved mystery, ok!!
(Don't look in the lunch box.)
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Moths every time. It's not even close.
At one of those empty tables
I wouldnβt dare to sit here as a human. Iβm too big and would probably squish them all by accident.
But if I got to choose to be one, Iβd go for the spiders. You get:
- two extra legs over the rest
- your own supply of crafting materials
- lots of eyes
- and a cozy place to relax in
Everyone knows that anyone who knows anything about anything would go for the most evolutionary diverse group - spiders.
There is nothing these little guys can't do. Fly over hundreds of kilometres? You got it. Extend their nervous systems several thousand times past their body area using web? Check. Biological hydraulic system? Yup. Jump 10 to 50 times their body lenght? No problem. Live underwater using silk made diving suit? You bet your sweet behind. Paralyze your body after one bite? Easy.
None of this makes me want to share a table with them.
I have a decent relationship with mantids already. I'd sit with them.
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Mantises. Fuck aphids
i think Id make a pretty moth :)
At one of the tables without giant bugs occupying all the seats
The moths table for the vibes, but the seat closest to the spiders to get in on their jokes.
At a table by myself, with everyone making fun of my laughably low number of legs
I will sit under the lightbulb and wait for the moths to join me.
Idk, I feel like the colourful ones would group a bit differently.
The popular high-fashion ones (orchid mantis, jumping spider, rosy maple moth) would be at one table, goths (bumblebee, tarantula) at the other, jocks are already together (beetles, tho ladybug prob carries a knife), goodly two-shoes nerds (bees) also, other spiders are obv commuter nerds, ...
Anyway, I would skip lunch bcs this feels like a way too social situation.
I'm staying out. At that size, many of those are just terrifying, even if they are cool when much smaller than me.
I would sit down at an empty table and it would turn out to be the Beesβ
I think I'd go with the moths. Least likely to kill me.
Bees. So long as I stay on their good side they're chill and they'll protect me from the other options that want to eat me.
Unless you are a piece of shit, because then the beetles will ragdoll roll you around until you are a nice sphere of shit.
(How do I plan such a funeral for myself?)
Outside, against the wall, alone. At least that's where I sat in high school. So, maybe with the wasps?
Sweet girl kisses, and hope I stay on their good side. Plus they kinda look like flying sports bikes.
LΓMP!
I'm already sitting with the bees
Mantises
As far away from the moths as possible. Too chaotic and irrational for me.
I'd be at the oddball table with the roly poly, millipede & dragonfly...
Dragonflies are likely to be with the mantids at the "we will rip your head off if we like you, you don't want to know what we do to our enemies" table.
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