Remove yourself from their drama. Your own story has nothing to do with them.
this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
-14 points (31.6% liked)
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Virginity isn't real.
Sleeping with someone should be about the two of your doing it. Don't sleep with person A because of your feelings for person B, that's fucked.
Tldr, not worth the energy.
Think about how you'll feel in 5 years looking back, and you'll appreciate waiting for the right person.
I'd recommend trying to have a mature conversation with Ben, and if it goes well, great! If not, then it's keeping Ben at an arms length and not letting them get closer. And advising the same for Beth.
As long as you try to stay cool headed, you shouldn't do something you'll regret later on in life. As long as Ben can have a mature conversation about relationships and "ownership" of relationships, and how language can hurt people's feelings (which is kindergarten shit, Ben...) you should be able to maintain a decent friendship. If you're cool about it, at least you can say if things go south it's Ben who is/was the problem.
May the bridges you burn light your way through the world.
Tell your hormones to chill out.
@grimreaper@sopuli.xyz is this your alt?
Doubt it. No age gap or superheroes involved.
But there is virginity.
That doesn't sound like it would work. Ben would continue to treat Beth poorly, and your relationship with him wouldn't improve in any way. Don't ditch your principles for the sake of revenge.
Either distance yourself from Ben, or try to have a serious talk with him. Be the adult in the room.
One of the first rules I have is to be honest with people, even if it hurts, and even if it burns enough bridges to ruin my own life. It seems your thoughts do not coincide with this, and quite frankly, you're thinking of doing something very bad morally & ethically, considering Beth most likely is not into you either, and is not a petty person — you are thinking of manipulating a person which does not even deserve it. You'll be hurting a good, genuine person who does not deserve to be in such crossfire; odds are, the other guy would retaliate.
Another thing I haven't mentioned quite yet is that the other guy may be grooming you, so-to-speak, to mark his territory — and he may even do it more forcefully —, so watch out for yourself.
However, if she hypothetically was considering doing the same, I would not be against it.
TL;DR: Move on, but tread very lightly. You might be in danger of being drugged by Ben, but don't quote me on that one.
You don't show him the stupidity of his ways by sleeping with that lady. You either find a way to confront him about that. Or you unattach yourself from this toxic person by finding other, better friends. Frankly, I would give him a piece of my mind and then find other friends anyway.
I missed the part where Beth is at all interested in this plan, especially with its intent. That's kinda important.
"sigaret?"
Revenge is never worth it.
Never. No matter what 'it' is.
Well, if it costs you absolutely nothing... you might think. But here in this case you are talking about a case where it costs you a lot. So: don't!
And even if you think that it costs you absolutely nothing, then it still costs you your nerve, a whole lot of extra negativity going round and round in your brain, etc. Better detach yourself from all of it.
Terrible idea, would only make things worse
So, you're a (1) university student (2) in a fraternity who encountered a fellow student (a) who is verbally and emotionally abusing an intimate partner.
(1+2)*A = you are a member of two distinct organizations which have some form of code of conduct, and have at.the very least an ethical responsibility to inform about the presumable violation of said codes of conduct.
Do not begin an intimate relationship with either "Beth" or "Ben". Especially not out of anger.
Your fraternity and university both should have someone you can talk to about reporting unethical actions, who can refer you to people far more knowledgeable about the rules, responsibilities, and laws that apply to you than pseudo-anonymous strangers on the internet ever could.