Black one for sure. You could get away with some amazing heists/pranks/achievements.
this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
275 points (95.7% liked)
memes
18150 readers
2419 users here now
Community rules
1. Be civil
No trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour
2. No politics
This is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world
3. No recent reposts
Check for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month
4. No bots
No bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins
5. No Spam/Ads/AI Slop
No advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live. We also consider AI slop to be spam in this community and is subject to removal.
A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Sister communities
- !tenforward@lemmy.world : Star Trek memes, chat and shitposts
- !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world : Lemmy Shitposts, anything and everything goes.
- !linuxmemes@lemmy.world : Linux themed memes
- !comicstrips@lemmy.world : for those who love comic stories.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I'm going Orange. I feel like all of the others would naturally follow.
And they'll be waiting for you in Tarana Albania, every time.
Everywhere? The first thing I would do is take a 3 month vacation and scout the entire city.
Best chances are to bribe the politicians and police, then you can get away with a lot.
Showing up with armfuls of bribes each time should help.
Staying anonymous would be the best way though, especially if your goings try it more than once.
load more comments
(3 replies)
Only if they knew that’s where I went
get an apartment closest to the teleport place, travelling is now cheaper as you never have to worry about the way back.
The teleport place is Tirana, Albania. Nobody said the same spot in Tirana, Albania every time. Your real estate investment was rash and very rarely saves you time. But it does increase in value a tiny bit, so eh you're fine.
still useful for international travel, no need to get a return ticket.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
I think they'd catch on to me after I got flagged 5 times in one year leaving Albania with no record of entering the country in between.
Red.
Simply say "oh, its a full moon tonight?" Then look at them with your now piercingly red eyes and state "I must leave, immediately."
Get out of any social situation and you can get your friends to think you're hiding some big secret. Win win.
Or "don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" while turning your eyes green
load more comments
(1 replies)
Why bother if you could simply teleport to Tirana and back afterwards ?
load more comments
(1 replies)
And teleport back back, right?
... Right?
I didn't take it that way. It's still super useful. Bribe their government to not say shit and try to keep a low profile. I don't know how fucked your passport would look though...
load more comments
(2 replies)
One time I was in Spain and I found 5 Australian dollars on the floor in a train station. I picked it up and pocketed it. The same day, I climbed a bell tower in some museum/remains and was chilling up there for half an hour, without anybody else coming up. Eventually another person came up and said hi. Recognised they were Australian so I asked them if they wanted 5 dollars and they said "....yeah?" And I gave it to them. No explanation.
I laugh sometimes thinking of the story from their perspective, climbing a Spanish bell tower and meeting an English guy at the top who hands them 5AUD, like a NPC in an RPG.
Talking dog, it's so obviously talking dog
I feel like you could easily just make money off their TV performances... Wait is the dog like as smart as a person? Isn't going to start demanding that it sign its own contracts and have its own bank account? That could get old fast.
Why are people obsessed with using the dog to get money or women or whatever? It's a talking fucking dog!! That's a cool ass pet I wanna chill with my cool talking dog.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(5 replies)
Black. I could do anything far away from Albania, teleport there, have three cctv cameras and 9 guys at a pub confirm was there having a drink with them in the evening the 23rd and could definitely not have been robbing a jewelery store in Copenhagen at the same time.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Pink, because then you can fold Queen Elizabeth II into a whale giving head
load more comments
(3 replies)
The black pill.
You can just TP to Tirana if you are in a situation that is more dangerous than being in Albania. Which doesn't happen often but you'd be very glad to have chosen this if something that bad ever happened to you
Like is it a specific place in Tirana? Or a place of your choosing? Or a safe place in Tirana? Or like a category of things (like "hotel lobbies") and it picks one at random? Or just completely random (unoccupied?) space (at ground level?)?
So many questions. I wouldn't want to be teleported into the Tirana airspace, or teleported with my current solar velocity.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Cantonese speaking dog is the obvious choice. Far more impressive than anything else here.
load more comments
(1 replies)
i reckon you could make more than $5AUD with a cantonese speaking dog
AND you get a dog
load more comments
(4 replies)
Obviously pink.
I don't see any stipulation that says I can only use my power only once.
The teleportation is obviously most powerful in terms of exploits
The dog could bring about the most technological advancement
I think Ill go for the eye color change though, because its so uncommon to have different eye colors.
Black could be handy once in a while.
The vagueness gives me pause. You could effectively be a god depending on whether you can choose where and how to teleport within Tirana. Constructing buildings and shipping goods with minimal cost and energy. Renaming other towns to expand your powers. Expanding Albania to do the same. Definitely the highest ceiling
Trekking back every time might get old, but it's a pretty useful one.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Can you teleport things with you? If so, use your ability to start a business importing items to Albania with nearly zero shipping costs, then invest in the local community until it's a really nice city to teleport home to.
People here talk about doing crime with the black pill, but I would instead just be the perfect astronaut.
Think about it, they could shoot you in space without having to think about how to get you back. No landing, no parachute, just a one way rocket launch.
Space agencies would be practically forced to hire you on the spot.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Dinner with Luol Deng of course. I don’t know who it is but that pill means I get free dinner every night.
My reactions in order upon seeing these:
"Sounds cool I could probably convince some nutjobs that I'm a demon or something?"
"Who?"
"Great my head already doesn't fit through my doorframe as it is"
"I would farm exactly two reactions out of this before getting bored"
"Who?"
"Is he only like ethnically cantonese or is that the sole language he speaks?"
"So nothing"
"A what in a what now?"
"Oh no."
load more comments
(1 replies)
Quite a lot are picking Tirana.
I suspect there'll be some telefragging in the future.
Black one. You can earn a lot of money by being the fastest delivery agent.
Love the idea that a third string QB in the XFL is worth $5 AUD. Still overvalued.
I could escape from everywhere by teleporting to Tirana, Albania.
view more: next ›