I had a goth friend who would always get laid without much trouble. At some point he got a normal job and had to "become a normie", and I learned that it wasn't because he was a goth, it was because he was a complete asshole with women, and some women, for some reason, can't resist assholes.
this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2025
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Being an asshole implies confidence.
Women like confidence.
Certain women like asshole confidence. Typically the type to write "I'm a bitch, deal with it" in their bios
I've known many women who were very nice and intelligent, who dated assholes. Usually they end the relationship thinking "ugh, why did I do that? That guy was such an asshole."
They do this because women are human, and do the very human thing of making mistakes and regretting them.
sometimes you dont realise theyre an asshole until youre already a year plus deep
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The women that like arseholes, believe it or not, are also probably arseholes.
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When you say things like "some women can't resist assholes" it sounds like red pill rhetoric. A better way to say it might be like "some assholes prey on women's insecurities". Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.
When you say things like "some assholes prey on women's insecurities" it's incredibly condescending, especially when you consider that women can also be assholes.
Like begets like. I've known too many couples where both of the people in the relationship are trash.
The amount of tone policing here is fantastic, everyone is finding something problematic about what is being said even though the actual effect is mostly agreed on
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A better way to say it might be like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities”. Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.
idk I think that's needlessly condescending to women, not all of them dating assholes are victims, some just like assholes because they like asshole behavior because they're also an asshole.
This also takes away agency from people. In fact, I am sure that there would be a way to diagnose every single relationship ever as a form of abuse in which someone takes advantage of someone else's something.
Adults are responsible for their choices, and particularly in the case of "assholes", that is often associated with being assertive, dismissive and some people just like that kind of "I am the main character" features. Maybe there are even some deep rooted evolutionary reasons for that, I don't know. Anyway, painting anything as victim-oppressor dichotomy IMHO is nonsense.
I keep the focus where I want, that doesn't change the asshole-victim situation, and I won't save anyone if I change the wording.
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Can confirm.
I've let several women do my make up and they're always super enthusiastic that I'm down for that.
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Prince will steal your girl, then steal her clothes, then steal someone else's girl in those clothes
So, Ricky Nightshade?
The problem is most average looking men, when bedecked in goth shit, look like Bluey got run over by a Spencer's truck.
The dude in everyone's imagination wearing black makeup and jewelry looks like a strung-out rockstar with don't-give-a-fuck vibes who lives for adventure and wild nights. The vast majority of ACTUAL men have the body-shape of a rectangle and have to spend most of every day waiting in lines, attending Zoom calls, explaining to customers why their wifi doesn't work (Reset the router Ethel, no that's not a router, you're holding an egg steamer.)
We gotta abandon the idea that people have "looks" at all times. Lets repopularize costume parties so guys get a chance to try to dress-up without it being some kind of shocking change to their entire persona. I had a stiff, straight-edge boss who attended a Halloween party and went goth. Completely unrecognizable, he was a legend.
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I - a bloke - sometimes paint my nails. If they're still painted when I go to work you can guarantee I'll get a few comments from guys questioning whether they "should be worried" around me*. Meanwhile, the few women who work there think it's wonderful and have offered to do them properly for me. _ *they needn't be worried. My standards aren't that low
When guys ask if they should be worried around you, do they expect women to be worried around them?
Yes. And women should be worried around them.
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Way to share your kink, sis. Mines biting people with brains. Everyone’s unique.
It's concerning that you had to clarify with brains
Well I like to bite. And I like smart people. Maybe I am a zombie lmao.
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This depends on the guy. Some can pull it off, others can't. I'm one of those who can't. If I put on make up, I wouldn't look goth, I would look like a serial killer lol
It's not so much about looking "goth" but learning how to augment whatever natural attractiveness you've got and demonstrating a level of self-assuredness and self-awareness. Knowing what works for you is part of that.
"Goth" just happens to be a very bold and somewhat easier style to look decent. A more "nude" look is, counterintuitively, pretty difficult but there's almost no masculine individuals who wouldn't benefit from it.
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People should do what they are comfortable with, but yes, if a guy wants to attract women, this is definitely a way to get what he wants.
I was part of the alternative scene and I also thought the goth-boy aesthetic was very attractive. All the girls did. To me, the most attractive thing a man could do to his appearance was to let his hair grow long. Like past the shoulders long.
Didn't have to put on make up and jewelry. Just have long hair and you could be fat or skinny, pretty or ugly. Didn't fucking matter. I'd look. If Henry Cavill walked down the street next to a nerdy guy with long hair, I would look at the nerd everytime. If he wore band t-shirts and military boots, it was game over. Only way a guy could fuck it up for himself with me was if he started the nice guy routine or was so socially awkward he couldn't talk to a girl. I have experienced both. The latter was a full date where the guy didn't say a word to me once and I was the one who had walked 20 km to get to his place because he had social anxiety and couldn't leave his home. Poor guy. I hope he's doing better today.
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Do you have any idea how much pussy you can get wearing this shit?
I'd say an average of two divorced house wives, one assistant school teacher, one confused undergrad and half a random barrista per year.
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been low key wanting to do Egyptian pharaoh shit for years but I work blue collar in hick country and don't dare until I can move out of the states
I was in Atlanta for the 2000 New Years celebration and I randomly bought a red and yellow zoot suit to wear, with matching shoes. I have NEVER IN MY LIFE gotten more attention from women than that night.
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The Danes, thanks to their habit to comb their hair every day, to bathe every Saturday, to change their garments often, and set off their persons by many such frivolous devices. In this manner, they laid siege to the virtue of the married women, and persuaded the daughters even of the nobles to be their concubines.”
Nike dudes even starting to get the monk haircut.
Ohhh, that's the reason why The Sandman always looked so tired and kinda damp all the time... He was nearly drowning. 🤌🏼
It's not gay, I'm just not goth. Also you can get quite far by not being a twat and knowing when to roll your sleeves up.
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Early 00s were a great time. I rocked those painted nails and eyeliner 🤘 along with the baggy jeans, chains and spikes
Nowadays all I dress in is luminous shorts and anxiety 🤘
I mean, it maybe wasn't gay, but was definitely a reference to something hellish, depraved, opposed to common morality, weak, like that.
Because back then it clearly meant protest against authority, against hierarchy, against stereotypic masculinity, against war, against evil covered by normalcy.
In some sense it's an intentional show of vulnerability, that look.
And I'd take that over Kipelov in Russia every day, that moron who doesn't fucking understand what rock music is.
I don’t know if I’ve got a big enough sample size, but the only guys I know who wear black nail polish are creepy Marilyn Manson types who mainly get laid with girls they met in their therapist’s waiting room
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I do that but I only get 1 (one) pussy. It's my wife's, so it's plenty for me.
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What about blue jeans and solid colour tshirts with no logos like a cartoon character
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Internalized homophobia is a hell of a thing to overcome. Some guys think those things are gay because that's what they were told by figures of authority.
Source: was raised as one of those guys.
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