Ask Lemmy

Give it time.

I think something I’ve learned over the years from several harsh breakups and big time abandonment issues, is that the pain you’re feeling is an actual physiological response to the loss of someone you are chemically bonded to. This is old biology at play, older than civilization, older than our species, because apes and various other animals exhibit grief.

There is no easy way out of it. Your brain has to unravel connections that once provided positive happy chemicals from your proximity to that person. It makes sense, oxytocin and other hormones reinforcing pair and family bonding, as they were once critical to survival. You just have to let it hurt, until it doesn’t anymore. It could take a long time, but one day you’ll be at peace with it.

Just remember that good relationships never end in breakups. So you’re mourning the idea of a successful relationship you thought you had or wanted to have (perfectly normal thing to grieve over!), but you can also celebrate that you’re now one major hurdle closer to the right relationship.

It’s a fresh start and now you’re armed with a whole lot more knowledge about what your boundaries should be, what to look for (or out for) next time.

Basically, the glass is half full! In fact, it’s more full than empty if you really take stock.

I just dealing with something akin of that. I have her at my left right now choosing photos of a Paris trip I was not in. Want to tell me your story I tell you mine? Sometimes talking about it makes it heal at least a little.

Have you considered a hasty and desperate rebound?

find a rebound and fuck the hell out of them

edit: fuck you virigns downvoting me. jealous little men 😂 you are why you don’t get laid.

Just go out and fuck someone new on the rebound. There's a reason it's a practically-universal practice after a breakup. Otherwise you're just going to become a living instance of Mr Brightside