Come on, make me feel like a man. I'll start:
this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2025
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press s to receive a blessing from The Cool S.
s
Cool S Blessing is Super Effective! Your friends and family suddenly out of the blue think "you know, I bet jballs was very cool in middle school!".
Hell yeah!
s
Suddenly you find you are extremely good at keeping a coin spinning on a cafeteria table by periodically flicking it with your finger.
s
Someone goes to fist bump you and you realize your repertoire of cool fist bump moves such as "snail", "snowman" and "turkey" has vastly expanded.
s
Your upper body twists 180 degrees in a flash, you are horrified but somehow the magic power of the cool S has kept you alive even after your torso has been twisted to the extreme. You look down at your butt in front of you and it dawns on you that must live the rest of your life assbackwards as a human S.
Hell yeah
I'm thinking on creating a Mastodon instance called "the-cool-s", and if I get tagged in parody conspiracy theory postings, I'll reply "concerning" and "looking into it".