Not The Onion

18592 readers

1810 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

723

Trump, 79, Claims Nobody Knows What a Magnet Is (www.thedailybeast.com)

submitted 23 hours ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

167 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 45 points 15 hours ago (5 children)

It's as English as this is

Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you're a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it's true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that's why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we're a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it's not as important as these lives are — nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it's four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven't figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it's gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 12 points 6 hours ago

I generally get more coherent sentences out of just repeatedly tapping my keyboard on my phone and letting auto correct just make things up..

The thing about Trump is the point of the world cup method of the world cup method of the game for the purposes of the world cup method of the world cup method of the world cup method of the league of the league of the league of the year and the company is a good idea for a while and I don't think so but I don't think.

Yeah, maybe not. But honestly it's close.

[–] wide_eyed_stupid@lemmy.world 12 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I can never get over the fact that this is real. I have seen this quote so often - and I've seen the video of him actually saying the words!- but still it seems surreal to me. The "Look, having nuclear"-quote. One for the history books, for sure.

[–] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

It'll be a historic speech and require mandatory memorization for school children in the future idiocracy

[–] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 7 hours ago

Holy ... fuck.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

I love how that's actually almost coherent compared to the way he talks now.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 48 minutes ago* (last edited 47 minutes ago)

“I say, what would happen if the boat sank from its weight, and you’re in the boat, and you have this tremendously powerful battery, and the battery is now underwater. And there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there, …By the way, lot of shark attacks lately, I watched some guys justifying it today. ‘Well, they weren’t really that angry. They bit off the young lady’s leg because of the fact that they were, they were not hungry, but they misunderstood who she was. He said ‘there’s no problem with sharks, they just didn’t really understand a young woman’s swimming. She really got decimated and other people too, a lot of shark attacks. So I said, there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat, do I get electrocuted? If the boat is sinking, water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking, do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted? Or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted?Because I will tell you he didn’t know the answer. He said, ‘you know, nobody’s ever asked me that question.’ I said I think it’s a good question. I think there’s a lot of electric current coming to that water. But you know what I’d do? If there was a shark or you get electrocuted, I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark.

collapsed inline media